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A Veranda report featuring etiquette experts Suzy Lins and Nick Leighton outlines six types of host gifts that can create extra work or feel poorly matched to the recipient. Their alternatives include flowers already arranged in a vase, a candle, and gifts chosen around what the host actually enjoys.
A Veranda report featuring etiquette experts Suzy Lins and Nick Leighton lists six types of host gifts that may create extra work or feel impersonal, and suggests alternatives for guests attending dinners and celebrations. The advice centers on choosing a gift for the host to enjoy later, rather than assuming it will be used or served during the event.
Among the gifts the experts say can miss the mark are unarranged flowers, home décor or artwork chosen without knowing the recipient’s taste, food guests expect to be served, items that look like rushed purchases, gift cards and presents that do not fit the host. Lins, a certified etiquette trainer known as The Manners Maven, says a bouquet without a vase can leave the host looking for one while greeting guests or preparing food.
Her alternative is to bring flowers in a container, or choose another gift suited to the recipient. Décor and art are subjective, Lins says, but an item connected to something the host collects or likes can be thoughtful. Leighton, an Emmy Award-winning journalist and co-host of the podcast Were You Raised by Wolves, describes a nice candle as a broadly appealing fallback when a guest does not know what else to choose.
Food can be a problem if a guest expects the host to serve it. Lins says the menu is likely already planned, while Leighton says a gift should be for the recipient to use as they wish. The report suggests making clear that chocolates or another food item are for later, or choosing a gift such as a mug with coffee, tea or cocoa. For purchases that are made at the last minute, Leighton warns against items that look like they came from a gas station or grocery store on the way to the event; thoughtful packaging may help, but advance planning is preferable.
Gifts That Respect the Host’s Time
The advice addresses a common social situation: guests want to show appreciation, but an unrequested gift can create extra tasks or put the host in the position of responding graciously to something they may not like. An unarranged bouquet, for example, can require finding a vase during a busy moment; a dish presented as something to serve may disrupt a menu already in place.
The experts’ suggested alternatives share a practical principle: choose something the host can enjoy on their own terms. A gift need not be expensive or elaborate to feel considered. The report says there is no set price for a host gift, though the experts’ advice favors choosing something that reflects attention to the recipient rather than relying on a generic purchase.
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How the Experts Define a Host Gift
The Veranda article frames a host gift as a gesture of appreciation for the time and effort involved in hosting a dinner, holiday gathering or celebration. It does not present the recommendations as formal rules backed by a survey or new etiquette code; they are expert advice from Lins and Leighton.
The report distinguishes a host gift from a potluck contribution. If guests are expected to bring food for the meal, that is different from arriving with an unrequested dish and expecting it to be served. It also emphasizes that familiarity matters: something tied to a known collection, favorite drink or stated preference is less likely to feel like an unwanted decorating choice than artwork selected without knowing the host’s style.
“You don’t want to put the host in the position of having to search for a vase as they are greeting guests or preparing food for the party.”
— Suzy Lins, certified etiquette trainer and The Manners Maven
Advice, Not a Fixed Etiquette Code
The report does not cite a formal etiquette standard, survey or research establishing that all hosts dislike these gifts. The recommendations are the views of two experts, and individual preferences can differ. A host who has requested a particular dish, appreciates a specific décor style or welcomes a gift card may respond differently from the general cases described.
The supplied material also does not provide the article’s publication date. Its suggested spending ranges are presented as guidance, not a required minimum or universal rule.
Choose Around the Recipient
For guests planning an upcoming visit, the practical next step is to consider what they know about the host: their interests, favorite foods or drinks, and whether they have asked guests to contribute to the meal. When that information is limited, the experts point to a neutral, easy-to-enjoy gift, such as a candle, and advise making clear that edible gifts are for later rather than for the party table.
There is no follow-up announcement or policy change identified in the report. Its guidance remains a set of recommendations for guests to apply according to their relationship with the host and the occasion.
Key Questions
What are the six host gifts the experts say may miss the mark?
The report lists flowers without a vase, décor or artwork chosen without knowing the host’s taste, food expected to be served, gifts that look rushed, gift cards and items that do not suit the host.
Are flowers an appropriate host gift?
They can be, according to Suzy Lins, but she recommends bringing them in a vase or another container so the host does not need to arrange them during the event.
Should guests bring food for the host?
Guests should not assume an unrequested food gift will be served. Lins and Nick Leighton suggest telling the host it is for them to enjoy after the gathering, unless the event is a potluck or the host requested a contribution.
What is a safe host gift if I do not know the host well?
Leighton calls a nice candle a generally neutral option. The report also recommends selecting something modest and useful rather than guessing at the host’s home décor preferences.
Is there a required amount to spend on a host gift?
No fixed price is given. The report says there is no set monetary value; its price ranges are suggestions, not a requirement. The experts emphasize thoughtfulness and fit with the host.
Source: veranda.com
